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Oct 29, 2016

Feeling

Assalamualaikum

I am  more like a writing type of people. I express my feelings thru my writes and sometimes quotes or anything. I remember I had a diary back then during year 6 and I wrote almost everything. Im a cengeng type of person and I am proud to admit it so thats why I prefer to write cuz whenever I try to express what I felt or tostand up during an argument I always end up crying. Not because I am that weak but its all because I am so sad that people always wont see the thing I saw.

Or maybe, I am so weak when people started to apologize. When I encounter certain argument and I know it didnt end up that well so we both decides to give it a rest and that other party make a move to say sorry. That is the thing that I'm weak of. I will start to burst. HAHAHHAHAHHAHA

Earlier this day,  I was hurt by words from someone who I expect the less to do so to me but I have to admit theres maybe a part of me that didnt really sync with that person till the person decides to throw some kind words that maybe theperson didnt expect it will hurt me. I was startled a moment till my eyes decides to break the damn dam tears. So I was cried while talked to the person. Try to winning myself hoping that theperson can see things at my view. Can put the feet at my shoes. Or at least understand me a bit. But I dont think so that I get what Im hoping for.

I was thinking to take a master degree in MBA. Been searching thru some of the local universities but I hope I can further abroad. Maybe its time to takeout all the savings and just go and let some people ( or maybe everybody) breathe with my non existence around them. That maybe will make things easier. I started to see myself being a batu penghalang in which make people worry more about me. And I keep argue with the people I love a lot lately. And I dont like it cuz it will end with just me and my tears and nobody really understands me. Nobody even care about how I feel. What I think. and Everything. I put so much effort to have a win win situation yet at the end of the day I am the person who will be turned down with everyone. And they didnt see what Ive done for them.

I think a lot in every words that come out from me so that I didnt hurt their feeling. I choose carefully. I think Im spending so much time thinking of other people feelings rather than me. Ialways choose to jaga their hati yet nobody care to return the favor. Tak tau lah kenapa macam malang sebab jadi baik ni. Or maybe I just too open up to people.

Or maybe I need a nice and quiet vacation. I need a Lapras right now to complete my pokedex. 350am now, and air mata pon dah kering and dah mengantuk. I just hope that things will get better as I decides to shut my self down.

Oct 25, 2016

Appreciation Post : MS

Assalamualaikum

Been doing those listsss of appreciation posts dekat ig but not for this one guy.

He is one of my coursemates, we are not really close during 1st year but we are good. Adalah few times kena buat group assignment sekali. HE dengan Programming. As far as I can remember masa first year.

Its all started masa 3rd sem where we have to repeat Calculus and CA1. Masa buat tutorial, he kept tanya2x me. Paksa mintak jawapan and stuffs. But just that. Tak lebih tak kurang. I got a fine line. Kalau on the fon pon, just because kena explain dengan dia ni jalan kira. Itu sahaja. Sama jugaklah waktu exam. We talk professional. Funfact, dont really talked to him Face to face. Its allover the phone. Dekat kelas pon sama. Buat tak kenal. Kan aku pesen datang lambat, aku akan park motor sejauh mungkin dengan motor mamat ni so that Im not in contact with him at all.

Sembang 

Masa sem 4 amek ODE, thats real deal. Memang spent banyak masa (over thephone) dengan dia untuk solve segala soalan. Bukan kata solve, kena decode sekali. Wakakkaka Tapi tu lah, we seems so okay, but trust me Im so awkward to him nak cakap depan depan rasa nak text je segala apa yang aku nak cakap. Rasanya kerja kerja SU banyak buat kitorang a bit closer. Sebab nak tengok cemana tulis report, kekadang terserempak kat HEP.

Sem 5 is where we started to talk over the book. This year we both super busy, aku dengan JTK aku, dia dengan YDP persatuan dia. I still remember I got test ED that morning and I got sudden text message from him wishing me goodluck, padahal tak cakap apa pon. Cuz, his roomates taking ED together with me. Lepastu dah start cuti midsem, where we talked about life. well, his life particularly. Cemana nak tackle pompuan. Dan sebagainya. I remember I got his called without any notice then bila jawab, I asked him why and he said,

"Pikah, harini birthday mak aku, aku dapat free call, so aku call lah kau. Aku busy sikit ni, so cakap je lah terus senang."

Memang kelakar. Tapi okay lah we really close. But still, we are not talking to each other dalam kelas. Ya Allah seboleh2x aku elak nak cakap dengan mamat ni. Malas nak dengar orang keliling bising sebenarnya. tapi we are so cool over the phone. HAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHA

One of his annoying quotes


Moving on to sem 6, 1st day kelas lagi dah jadi clingy, aku tengah get ready nak pi bukit tinggi, mamat ni boleh sibuk call tanya kelas kat mana lah, kenapa x datang kelas lah like sapa je skema yang datang kelas masa first day, hek eleh betul, aku jugak kene dengar dia cerita dia nampak accident lepastu kena pull over kat tepi sebab dia trauma. Takyah cerita cemana clingy dan annoying nya mamat ni masa cuti sem. zzzzz

Banyak actually benda yang jadi between aku dengan dia ni. Aku stop sampai cerita sem 6 je sebab sem 7 and sem 8 tu dia terikat dengan perjanjian ber sign darah. hahahahhahhaaa Masa sem 7 sem 8, ada a few times bila mamat ni panggilnama aku dekat kelas and rasa awakward namateyy sebab benda tu macam jarang kot berlaku. WAKAKKAA

Sem 6


TBH aku must say this, selain wolfpack, effa, dia ni one of the people yang push aku sepanjang masa belajar, Memang dia ni annoying but sometimes, he was so good, I remember hes doing this little thing where I felt so touched, its just a simple text saying that,

"Aku ade upload soalan kat FB Telecom."

I knew that cuz of course I got the notification but he did it anyway. I must admit yang dia ni a bit rajin belajar sikit dari aku and always update ape aku belajar and he will belajar benda lain yang aku belajar sebab at the end, aku kena ajar dia jugak. He will always paksa me to ajar him and I reluctantly say no so, aku kena push myself a bit harder so that boleh ajar dia ni. Dia selalu ajak buat assignment sekali. Masa kitorang  repeat PDE, kalau boleh setiap minggu hadap PDE ni. Pernah sekali tu, dia ni demam, and aku nak siap pi wedding, so dia cakap, ajar dia, even kejap pon xpe. So win win situation.

Selalu kalau dia ni photostat nota, he will ask me kalau kalau aku nak and to return the favor, I will do the same too. Up to this point, I still felt so awkward to talk to him face to face. Theres one time, dia nak pi Indonesia and we got this extra class for CA. Bayangkan we didnt talk for days tetiba dia balik on the last day of kelas CA, macam biasalah I dont give a damn and kitorang amek gambar kelas segala, aku balik, gi lunch, lepastu dapat text,

"Nanti aku datang 9, ajar aku CA"

Kalau fikir balik banyak lagi benda yang dia ni buat macam janji nak keluar petang tapi kena make sure belajar dulu at least sikit. Janji nak keluar malam, kena make sure lepas kelas terus buat assignment. Kalau ikut aku, memang taklah kan cerita dia. hahahhahahahhaaa aku memang malas pon. Bagi aku kalau nak keluar, keluar lah. kalau nak buat assignment, buat hadap jangan kacau. wakakakkakakkaka

The list will going down down down. Aku pernah fucked up sekali bila aku tau aku screwed up paper EMT aku and I dont really bother to belajar for the next paper next day tu.  Aku tido awal. Dialah orang paling menggelabah sekali sebab aku macam tu. Tapi aku still make sure, aku jawab segala persoalan dia untuk next paper. Lepas je that day, dia ni terus warning aku yang berbunyi lebih kurang,

"Aku taknak tengok kau down ni. Habis nanti." Mungkin sebab akan jejaskan dia ni kot. Hahhahahhahahhahahahhahahahhahahahahha

After all, thank you for being there all the time. You may not realized this but its the truth. Walaupun you busy jadi kasanova that time but u still there to forced me. It may look yang I yang banyak ajar you lah ape lah but somehow u are the one yang pushing me to actually study so that boleh ajar u. Its all going back to you, it goes both way. Thanks a lot. Tahniah grad on time, despite of so many challenges we faced. Belum kira paper yang di repeat. Stress level nak balance belajar dengan aktiviti. All the time we wasted to just sit and write the thesis. Its almost every minutes to look at each other punya muka except bila kerja and tido. Itu pon tak berapa jam lah sangat. Bila nak viva tapi FYP tengah peroi gila, fucked up x boleh nak tulis apa sebab tak nampak bayang pon and so on. Thanks for everything.




Incase u read this: I screenshot our conversation from 4 years ago. U hutang I Haagen Dazs. and Its 5 scoop. #roadtokikissyafiqbaha



Oct 24, 2016

Hari Jubah Picute

Assalamualaikum

See see this girl updated her blog so fast. Zzzzz

17 Oktober 2016
Dewan Tunku Cancelor, UM
#UMConvo #MadeinUM #TeleTripkeDTC

Yeayy dahconvo.I wrote quite a lot about my Uni life here in this blog, so if happened to me to go down the memory lane, I just scroll and read. And this day finally came. I was so scared if I wasnt able to attend my convo sebenarnya. Hahahhahaha. Up to this time while Im writing this thing, I am still a jobless graduate. wakkakaa

Can I just show the pictures, pre convo, post convo, on convo and everything lah. sebab malaas nak tulis.
The very first pre convo is with this lad. On the day amik jubah itself.









And then with fellow wolfpack. Ada 2 photographers on that day.

With Syafiq's Parents

MAH FAHMELI


Some People


On the day itself, with so many people. Tak dan nak tepek gambar satu satu. hehehheee




Thanks Fakulti Kejuruteraan Universiti Malaya for 4 amazing years, dari zaman usha hati senior department sampai zaman dapat rembat hati budak kos sendiri. Kahkahkah I finally graduated from this Uni. With that, I end, Till we meet again, UM.

p/s I can tell mykids, " Kidss, this is where I met your father,so be grateful, eventho I dont really like this place sometimes." HAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAHA

Oct 19, 2016

Teaser: Hari Jubah Picute




Tunggu lepas aku pulang jubah baru aku up entry.

Oct 7, 2016

Lelaki

Assalamualaikum

Aku tengah main edit edit photoshop nak wish birthday Epa, lepastu aku givap, aku bukak blogspot.

Muhammad Syukri Wahid


I grew up with 2 guys above me. Ayah, Abang. Myfirst bestfriend is a guy, named Luqman. I never have kawan perempuan when I was younger, not until masuk sekolah rendah okayyyy. except one Indian girl, which is mybestfriend. Masa tadika pon, Im not good at all with all my kawan perempuan sebab aku anak cikgu sekolah tu and selalu datang lambat, and everytime aku datang, semua budak pompuan dah taknak cakap dengan aku sebab this so called leader arahkan diorang untuk kawan ol-ol je dengan aku. Damn. I dont care.I got Farhan,Syafik, Zakri, Hisyam, Redha and the list is still going.

Masuk sekolah rendah, I talked to everyone masa dekat sekolah, but step out je dari kawasan sekolah, Nope. I dont talk to guys. Speaking about lelaki, yes, I have crush on guy like every years old of mine and the first ever guy I do minat called Hamizan. I dont know where is he now. I minat dia masa tadika 5 tahun okay. HAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAA and the bad part is, the list of guys ive been crushing on since 5years old till now is going strong wehhh. Sumpah tak tipu. The best part is, they just crush. Not more.

Funfact: The guy Im with now is also someone who made it to my crush's list sebab dia pakai full frame and dia ade rupa Nubhan.*He'll be mad at me if he read this* but the feeling stop when I know he got GF by that time. Lels.


I dont see the purpose of guy in my life. Like seriously. Selain jadi eye candy of course. Not until masuk UM where my motor will always cari pasal with me and yeayhhh I need guys for sure to help me on this matter, but selain tu? NAN HADOOO.

So technically, Ive been living to serap all the quality of a man that I want by looking at Ayah and Abang. Ayah is everybody first Hero, while abang is your unconditional bodyguard. No matter u love it or not. Hahahhahahha. Theres one time,during dinner dengan Peijal n Capik and that time I was single, and Peijal asked me this,

" apa ciri-ciri lelaki yang kau nak?"

And my answer is like everybody else,

"Aku nak cari lelaki yang macam ayah aku."

while I thought he will stop there, then he asked,

"Kau nak lelaki macam ayah kau, tapi kau tu macam mak kau tak?"

Mygod, I startled. That question kinda hit me real hard. Macam aiyoyo kadawaleyyyyy. Hahahhaa Then I pass. I know I never got a chance to get a guy like Ayah. Hahahhahhaha.

While I see Abang as whom I want my son to be like. Hes so scary as heckk I told youuu. He is much more scary than Ayah. Hehhehehhehehhehehhe nope, ayah not scary at all. Abang is like mak x 10. My god. But he is sweet. Jihah selalu pow dia duit, well, shes the youngest. Me? I always be abang punya life saviorrr since forever. He always do some serious shit and me? yeahh I will always be the one who do the cover up. Duhhh.


Saga Putih tu keta Abang when he met an accident masa balik sekolah in Saratok, Oct 2015

When Allah decided to invite him back to where he belongs, me was sleeping because the next class was cancelled. And I kinda terjaga and checked whatsapp and like 20minutes after mak break the news. I was like blackout. And I broadcast message to my friend telling them the stories. I bombard Syafiq. Wake him up. And apparently he thinks Im being clingy cuz I kinda urged him to call me, and as soon as he called, I burst into tears. Lepastu dengar cite dak capik tu cam terkesima. He asked me to tunggu kat bawah blok dia otw, at the same time he was like dont know whatt to do. Im so out of space, terus turun and tunggu. Takboleh berfikir. Lepastu sorang sorang member call nak bawak balik Melaka. That moment I see, who is there with me and who doesnt. The rest was history.

That moment, I was snapped about the 3rd guy who I want to be with. I have a hero, who is my everything. I have a bodyguard, who is the one responsible in protecting me, not forever, but until reach a point where, it safe to let me go. So this 3rd guy, who is he that I want him to be.

Im searching for a bestfriend where I can share everything. Also an enemy who I want to be my best competitor. The one who be there during sort of storm and rainbow of mylife. The most important is someone who be ready to accept me when Im opening up myself to him. Like I said before, Im not any typical girl who you can find anywhere at media social. Im independent and I know, guys doesnt really like independent girl. Like I care. Hahhahahaaa

and If I re-read back this whole entry, I see no connection here and there. Nope, I just thought I must write tonight.And padan muka kena baca benda merepek ni. Hahahhaa

Tepek gambar sendiri like a boss


ps: the guy Im with now is not like Ayah (except he doesnt smoke. Ohhh yeahhh its a major win for me) but he is moreeeeeeeee like Mak. He is scary. Not everytime but whenever he gets mad. So I think, Im started to think that Im like Ayah. Yeah I do merepek. but who cares. No one read this anyways,

Aug 26, 2016

Pokemon Go

Assalamualaikum

I just had my dinner. Nasi lemak. Soooo malaysian everytime also a nasi lemak time. Well back then in UM, whenever we decided to lepak or minum minum after a project meeting or memang takdeidea nak makan mana, there are always 3 options to pick on, its either nasi lemak anjing, nasi lemak babi, or nasi lemak mapley. Nasi lemakanjing isactually nasi lemak at restoren ehsan, the ayam is ssshoo niceeeee. And I dont know why they called it anjing, while nasi lemak babi is the other name of nasi lemak bumbung/maybank/seapark. Enough short story about nasi lemak.

Earlier this day, but not so early lah, I decided to crawling out from my sarang persembunyian after being lecture for minutes about how can I spent my day lockup blablablabla. So I decided to go to tangkak doing my hunting about this hype Pokemon Go.

One thing about Pokemon Go is, I played Pokemon before,during the gameboy time. Pokemon Red,Blue,Yellow,Gold,Silver and everything. So when these pokemon go was released last month, it had been expected to thousands of people play with it. and I dont mind it.

But i dont like the people that just play without having any hype. One time I was soooo excited to see Starmie in the middle of nowhere and I heard some people was like, "ni haa patrick." and also the other time "weh ni haa telur." ITS EXEGGCUTE DOOOOO!!!!

I really hate when i have to listen to this kind of shit like, hey mangkuk dah taktau nama tak yah main boleh tak. Tak payah acah acah. No. Dont ruin mychildhood. Damn.

I made a pact with jihah, kalau mak tanya pegi mana, just jawab pegi jogging. So during our dinner, mak tanya and without wait for us she screams, " Korang pegi tangkap pokemon kannnnn". Mak got this FB syndrome where she tend to percaya all the stuffs that was going viral dekat FB and Im started to get annoyed like really annoyed. Phewww. When she first know Im playing this game, she was like tau x haram bla bla bla and I was like, " Fuck u people on FB, look what u guys did. This is my childhood. I never got the chance to own a game boy before to play, I borrow it from someone else. LET ME PLAY THIS."

So just to let u know, there was alittle bit drama about this hukum, logic and so on, guess who wins? Ehemmmm. Hahhahahhahahhahahaha

Thats it for tonight rumble. Btw Im Team Instinct Yaww. Muahx

Aug 24, 2016

Good Morning

Assalamualaikum

So, its 130 in the morning and im not quite yet ready to sleep so i decides to write. Well the truth is, i just finished taking my midnight snack, a pack of maggi sedap and a mangga. Yummehhh

Back to the tajuk. Back then when i was in um, i had this habit well i was trained to develop this habit of wishing people good morning. Well its obviously my roomates lah kan yang selalu dapat wish ni. Not only morning wish lah kan, its more to greeting. Whenever i was in my room doing works or just lying and scrolling, and then my roomates came back, i just throw a simple hi and will automatically ask her day. Well, it may looks simple but that a little things that most of the people overlook at.

Imagine you had a rough difficult and rasa nak carut kind of day yang kau jumpa semua orang dari lecturer bawak ke kawan terus pada boyfriend semua jadi punca kau nak mengamuk. Then, the one place u wish to be adalah dekat bilik kau cuddle dengan bantal, so balik dengan hati meradang, masuk bilik tetiba di sambut dengan suara penuh ceria rumet kau tanya your day. Kau tak sampai hati nak marah sebab rumet kau completely innocent, and u will definitely started to spill everything. Well, i did most of the time. As time past, its not only me, my roomates do the same thing jugak.

Another situation where, imagine kau memang dah dikatakan rutin for almost one whole year woke up in the morning and terus gapai fon and gigih bukak passcode wassap just to text your loved one morning wish regardless kau tau dia x bangun lagi atau dia dah 2-3 jam bangun memulakan hari. These could be anyone, your parents, bestfriends, partner. Tak kisah lah sesapa pon, tapi yg pasti kau ade rutin utk wish diorang ni. Hari hari selama 10 bulan tak pernah miss. Power betul ngkorang ni, tapi one day kau decides utk xbagi. Kau rasa apa yg penerima kau akan fikir. Cuz, its their routine to get a morning wish dari kau. Kau taktau, manatau sebab wish kau tu lah penyebab dia nak teruskan kehidupan. Well it may seems so bullshit right now but believe me it happens.

Why we called something a routine?Its obviously something that you do everyday and once we tried to break this routine, trust me and believe me, its kinda seronok. When it became a routine, that means you are fully responsible towards it. Dia dah jadi macam satu kewajiban untuk kau, macam beban jugak lah. HAHHAHHAHAHAHHA tapi kalau kau tengok benda ni as beban, so once you lift it, trust me, it is the feels of freedom. Walaupun sikit.  Tapi kalau kau amek, untuk wish orang ni as a I dont know, a saja saja thing just to make sure u are alive oruare awake or u are ready to memulakan your hari, trust me, its kinda hard kalau nak tinggal camtu je.

I had this routine also but its slowly faded away as time goes because of laziness or mungkin sebab dah terlalu selesa kot. But never mind I guess the other party dah ade orang lain yg lebih layak untuk dia wish kot. Kahkahkah camni rupanya perasaan kene ditch dengan member sendiri. Sobs sobs.

Anyway, if it happened to u guys to have a greeting buddy, regardless how busy you are, just take your phone and simply type "Good morning, have a good day." or " Selamat memulakan hari xoxo" or maybe like " all the best today." sent it away tak kiralah via whatsapp ke twiiter ke atau status FB sekalipon, theres someone somewhere actually wanted to read the wishes.

Never underestimate the power of a simple greetings. For you, it maybe looks like nothing but for someone its everything.


Xoxo

Nah jamah muka budak 2nd year excited masuk hutan negeri orang. Hew

Aug 13, 2016

PIKAH DAH 23 WEH.


So, Im 23 this year. Ahaer haer. Nothing much to share selain dari this year is blast since everyone I love is there to celebrate with me. Starting from GIGS to SB. Thanks forall your wishesssss.

Here just entry bergambar. So yeahhh.






Till then. Babai